A love for lists

A year ago, my mind would have continued to work like a chewing gum that had long lost its flavour and sweetness, hanging on to the 3 things that could not be accomplished within the set timeline. What purpose does it serve to hammer oneself with goals not met? One of the greatest learning’s I had from the landmark year 2020 was learning to cope. Never in my previous life( life before Covid) did I understand what it takes to cope with disappointments, disagreements or failure. Neither did I have tools to manage the feelings of anger, guilt or resentment that came with a sense of defeat. So, what changed?

The most important thing 2020 took away from me was control. Whether it was control over my household, control over my space, control over my schedule and even control over my own life. Learning to live in chaos and ambiguity didn’t come naturally to me who always preferred to have a set order or regime to life. How much I loved my TO-DO-LISTS and the joy of striking each item off that list. A list for work, a list for groceries, a list for entertainment, a list for wellness, a list for open items, sub-lists within a list, and a master list for all the lists… phew! With my love for lists, I should have been named Alister 😉

Learning to live in a world without lists first seemed like a nightmare. Soon I figured I could live without them. Totally! It is all about what we feed our mind. The moment I stopped telling my mind that I needed my lists in order to function well, well! life changed. So did my need for control and perfection. Life is so much happier with a 7/10.

So, what next? My mind has been trying to push me towards another list. And my sole resolution for 2021 would be that this year would be a year of zero lists. It would be interesting to wait and watch how that turns out. Will I sail through? Will I fail miserably? Or will I discover a new horizon? It is about time to let go. I guess I’m ready for a free fall! 😊

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